I hate ferrets…well more like they hate me.

I really like animals, almost all kinds. There are a few that I will take exception to simply because I don't know any of them on a personal level, then there are a few that I take exception to primarily because I do know a member of the species. While I would be the first to say I don't like stereotyping we need to talk context here. My daughter has two ferrets and when I go in her room they attack me. If I don't have shoes on then they bite my toes, if I do have shoes on they try to climb up the inside of my pant leg and bite my leg. If I pick one up it will bite my hand and god forbid I ever try to kiss one or one gets loose in my bathroom.

I also don't like snakes. I guess it could be argued that snakes are not animals, they are reptiles, however don't let the Houston SPCA hear you talking like that. Nope, I've never got bitten by a snake but one did bite one of my boots. That was close enough, they don't like me, I don't like them. The best part of that equation is that I don't have to hide in a corner waiting for one to go by before I bite him, I can go out and hunt them down and bite them (well not literally).

I do like cows but that may be primarily because they are dumb and I like almost anyone that I can feel smarter than (there are way too few of that kind walking around). It may also be because I like the things milk brings. I'm not too big on milk but I like ice cream, coffee creamer, cheese, etc. I also am quite partial to red meat, I know, here we go with the non political correctness crap, I'm sorry there isn't a good way to say 'you are so dumb that I'm going to kill you and eat you' in a nice politically correct way.

I'm really not sure I'd like bears, from what I've seen on Nat Geo (new name for National Geographic) I'm betting I wouldn't get along with them too well. I'm a little confused about the Nat Geo thing too…is that the same thing as 'id lik 2 c u 2nite'? Oh well we all have to learn new things and if the lawyers in Washington DC have their way I may have to get an attorney to battle my cow's attorney to get permission to have a steak.

I'm damn sure I don't like badgers; I had one try to climb my leg in the dark one night. I think he only left because he didn't like the smell I emitted when I saw him. People say animals can smell fear, I bet they can and I'd bet it smells like shit, cause that's what I smelled like when I ran upon that badger.

I like deer, I like pigs, I like chicken's, I like rabbits, I like fish (again with the animal thing?)…hey wait there is a theme developing here…if I can eat them I like them and if they can eat me I don't…ok I'm good with that. God didn't give me thumbs just to press the space bar.

Prp